Hello.........Is anybody there ??

Communication-- Skills for life.

Are you a communicator? Do you have the ability to really understand what someone is saying to you?

One of the things that is absolutely key, in every area of life, is the skill of communication. Effective communicating is essential in friendships, partnerships and family relationships. Doesn't it make sense to spend some time learning what communication is all about?

Many people make the mistake of believing that talking equals communicating. NOT SO ! Oh talking is certainly a part of communication, but it is a very small part. Stop and think, for a moment, of all the ways we communicate. Body language such as crossed arms or a frown, or leaning towards or away from somebody are very telling to a student of communication. We use our hands to emphasize a point. We swallow, or look away, frown or smile, nod or shake our head. A well placed pause or silence can also speak volumes. There are so many ways to emphasize or de-emphasize a point.

In order to be an effective communicator, there are several factors that share equal importance. I would like to take some time to review those factors.

First and foremost, take the focus off of yourself. This is key, because if you are nervous, worried, or in any other way self-focussed, then you will find it difficult to focus on your audience. Understand that people are people, and the most intimidating person is usually that way to hide their own nervousness. People interpret nervous signals in a negative way, and will sometimes think you have something to hide.
Be warm and friendly, and try out a relaxed smile.
Be aware of your posture. Keep your shoulders and head up, fold your hands in front of you, and tilt your head, or lean forward slightly towards the person with whom you are speaking.
Learn how to ask questions.... This point is really my favorite, and I feel one of the most important. It is so easy to misunderstand what someone is saying, when you don't have enough information. Let me give you an example....Today I was speaking with a potential business partner. He said to me, "I really am unconvinced about network marketing." My first instinct is to give an explanation of why network marketing is a good model. In fact, this is exactly what most people do. When you speak,, without understanding the feeling behind the statement, you end up speaking AT, rather than speaking WITH.

Instead, I empathize with the speaker, and then ask a question to help me clarify this persons concerns. "I understand that you may feel that way. That is exactly what I thought as well. Tell me, David, what is it about network marketing that makes you uneasy?" Other very good clarifying questions are, "Why do you say that?", or, "Have you had experience with Network Marketing in the past?"

These types of questions are a very important part of understanding what the speaker is trying to say. Understand that our brains process information much faster than we can speak. What that means is that, a simple statement such as the one above has much more information attached to it than was spoken. Someones reasons for being wary may be different than another. Clarify before you speak.

Another very important, and often overlooked method of communicating is how something is said. An effective communicator expresses their relationship to the speaker by mimicking some of their intonations and postures. We will relate to those people who we can identify with. When the person is speaking softly, so should you. If the person is using business language, so should you. This does not mean you have to go to acting school, or change who you are. In fact, the most effective communicators adapt to the environment seamlessly, and most of the time, do not even realize they are doing it. The important thing to remember is that you should be constantly aware of what effect your communication is having on the individual or group. Be aware of the things that aren't said, pick up on non verbal clues, listen deeply to what is actually said, and evaluate your response before you speak.

Once the interaction is over, go back over the communication in your mind. Did it achieve the desired results? How might you improve? What things did you say or do that were particularly effective?

Networking is not about convincing, tricking or persuading... It is about respectful interaction...sharing of ideas....Communication.

With practice, anybody can learn the skill of effective communication. As you get better, you will find much success, in both your personal and business life.

Shelley Penney is a network marketing and internet marketing specialist with 7 years in the field. She is currently mentoring a small group of people to achieve financial freedom from home.